La langue d’amour isn’t always as classy as we’ve made it out to be. French, like the many languages of the world, has its very crass side. Actually, when you hear “Ouais, mon ex était un tel connasse!” it still sounds very, very romantic – but trust me, it isn’t. That’s why it’s so important to open les petits bébés up to other linguistic worlds when young; to ensure they don’t blankly laugh if ever called a connasse.
Now, if you’re passed that age of what is considered scientifically susceptible to learning and maintaining new life skills, don’t worry. There’s still hope.
Recently, I got a hold of three books pertaining to the French language that even I found to be immensely useful. Varying in subject matter, each option offers learning aids ideal for training that tongue.
Dirty French: Everyday Slang from “What’s Up?” to “F*%# Off!” by Adrien Clautrier and Henry Rowe
This book is definitely not for everyone. Filled with fantastically lewd terms and phrases, some would be turned off simply by the cover. Seriously, some of the most crude probably wouldn’t even be heard in a porno. [That’s an exaggeration. They would for sure be heard in a porno… haha!] From the “Il est un lèche-cul.” (He is a brown noser.) to “On dirait Carlos en string!” (Oh shit! It’s Bigfoot in a thong.) to “Chie-moi sur la poitrine.” (Shit on my chest).
I bet you’re rushing to order this book right now! As you should, but also know there are some truly helpful slangs for more basic moments like “Tu devrais essayer la choucroute.” (You gotta try the saukraut.) to “C’est quoi, ton parfum?” (What perfume are you wearing?). This book is like that native speaker in your foreign language class that would teach the non-natives colloquialisms just to get under the teacher’s skin.
Parisienne French: Chic Phrases, Slang and Style by Rhianna Jones
Now this book is a calmer, more poised version of the aforementioned book, but it still does offer some pretty risqué expressions. So you’re not really missing out – too much. By offering language basics such as counting, how to form questions, pronunciation, gender and number agreement, and slang vs. formal, this book is perfect to carry around while traveling in lieu of that bulky dictionnaire. [There’s an app for dictionaries. Seriously, you really shouldn’t be trolling the streets with one in hand.]
Parisienne French also provides something lots of other books, similar to this one, don’t – a city guide. Sectioned by the different arrondissements, or neighborhoods, the guide indicates what each arrondissment is notorious for as well as the many things available to enjoy in each one. Plus there’s extra information in each chapter on culture, fashion, recipes, and so much more.
Horton Entend un Zou!: The French Edition of Horton Hears a Who by Dr. Seuss
Super cute, je sais! Imagine if all your favorite childhood books were in a foreign language growing up… learning to read would have been such a different and even more exhilarating experience. Sitting around comparing word to word, and giggling at the simplest things.
:: le sigh::
But since most of your faves weren’t an option as a wee one, we have to share the blessings with the current and future baby generations.
In true Seuss style, this edition follows the same rhythm comprehensive even to Francophiles. Yes, it’s some of their native tongue, but it’s crucial to capture those ears when impressionable and young. To eventually understanding phrases like “d’un coup d’aile”. Oh don’t go to Google for pronunciation help, just give the book a try.