As you know from last week’s interview, I’ve started meditating. Based off Merriam-Webster’s dictionary, aka the only remaining dictionary that hasn’t confused it’s sole duty for a thesaurus, defines meditation as “a discourse intended to express its author’s reflections or to guide others in contemplation”. Thesaurus.com even provides the synonyms “reflection”,“introspection”, and “self-examination”. Would I agree? Honestly, I don’t know. This is what it’s defined as, but my journey for meditation is in the infant stages and still looking for its footing
The thing about it is, it’s different from my past journals. With the workout studios I was on a set schedule. I had class every day or every other day with so and so. I took measurements of my changes based on each class, but rarely was I able to take the teachings outside. WithMNDFL, meditation and its practices are a constant. I’m 110% aware of my actions, my words, my thoughts – basically my being in its entirety – and those around me. And I’ve always been aware, even before MNDFL, but in a hyper-emotional, over analytical state that ultimately lead to anxiety, outbursts of anger, tears… whatever surge of sentiment that has built. But this time around the awareness is different. It brings to surface the questioning of those reactions and emotions – their origin, how have you dealt with them in the past, how will we change those feelings in the future, etc. – so overtime, when they continue to arise you’re prepared.
It sort of forces you back to that sense of calm where we are all on the same playing field in class; but it takes time and lots of practice. I listen to a meditation podcast whenever I have afreak out moment, because I’m not at a point of unguided learning. Plus it’s a necessary supplementary, for me, in addition to MNDFL. Unless a MNDFL instructor wants to start recording some podcasts for people who need guidance-on-the-go *hint, hint*!